god is a girl, hell is the world.

mirror is just a magical thing for me. i can never imagine that my situation right now. yes. NOW.
some sentences are in my mind. such as, god is a girl, and hell is the world. i'm just suffering too much pressure from me myself. i am actually ruining myself, i know it, i definitely clearly know it. somehow i can't stop feeling depressed. i want to tell everybody LEAVE ME ALONE while at the same time, i am dreaming for if others treating me well. tears come some times.
i tried to write my thoughts down on paper. with those 3 totally full pieces of paper, i don't know what i am doing and how come i am doing. not really useful for me to release.
and where are my friends? FAR. in tianjin, in beijing, in nanjing, in shanghai, in the USA. anyway not by my side. i don't want to disturb the same one every time. who a hell ought to listen to the words now i am talking to myself or in front of the mirror?! nobody. nobody should feel obliged to talk to me, or comfort me. though i dream to have such a guy existed, i can't complain to anyone if it doesn't happen actually. i'm normally supposed to be the optimistic. i show my fake outside to others. maybe that's my dream figure. i won't achieve the goal.
despair.
i don't even trust people. who i trust, i really don't want to disturb. i'm not willing to show the dark part of my heart. blog might be the safest place. yes, i will be healed. i don't know how though.
life is no more a box of chocolate. it's a box of despair. my idea of suicide will come at the same time. hell.

月考IV.高考报名.舞蹈节评委.

下礼拜的安排大致如下.
周一至周三早上,月考IV咯!!!希望自己颓唐的学习.不要带来太过于唏嘘的成绩.
周三下午,高考照相.再下午,我要去做舞蹈节的评委了!!
然后周四放假.估计睡觉是个不错的选择,或许再去做个facial?呵呵.
周五回去讲评试卷,哇咧!...

HKU笔试...

i just don't know what does FAMINE mean!!!
Hell...

Mixed day.

things i did.
1.bought breakfast at mc, including two pieces of fried potato?! or how may people call the little Ding? and a small cup of coffee..
2.ran to the news stand for jim, asking for car and driver, which was not yet available in gz, crossed the bridges for 4 times.
3.yes, i'll have the writing exam by HKU next tuesday. 5pm to 7pm, which means, dinner time.
4.got the signature from a head teacher in my school, well, which means i got a larger chance to get the test from SYSU. yeah.
5.sent a big packet of FUWA to my host family in germany, and a letter. it's the reason why i was late to school in the afternoon..
6.feeling sick all day because of the cup of coffee!!!

Na, ja...

星座也被猜到的?

"1.德國
2.鐵血
3.恒心 耐心(這個天秤沒有..)
4.決斷 透徹的觀察
5.認真"

一个认识了我有3天的小男生对我做出的评价.
我掰着指头算,"属羊到底是哪一年呢?".结论是他比我小将近3年.
可是我几时可以看人看到这么准的?(还是其实都不像我的?...)
我喜欢收集别人对我的评价.哈.
大概当他觉得我好厉害,看事情看得好清楚的时候,我正在为一些别的事情迷茫不知所措吧?

踏进12月,阳光仍温暖.

12月1日是danny同学的生日.
i just feel oblige to celebrate it.
没什么,很快也要到我的生日了.很快就不再是teenager了..
刚好就是那天,拿着博弈的书,很舒服地窝在窗台上看.太阳光暖暖的.我穿着短袖.
大概2点,我甚至靠着窗子,睡了一小会儿.
相比于那些不喜欢晒太阳的孩子们来说,我的咖啡色比他们要健康呢.
穿着短袖过生日,看看这个愿望是否能够实现哦.

无言.

忙忙忙.
需要理由吗?